Portland Anagrams UCLA, 74-47

I could see the Portland Trailblazers beating UCLA by 27 points...but the University of Portland Pilots? Portland so thoroughly dominated their Thanksgiving night 76 Classic clash against UCLA that this is what TV viewers were subjected to early in the second-half:

Dave O'Brien: "Whatever happened to the VCR?"

Steve Lavin: "It went the way of the 8-track. Cassette tapes, albums."

O'Brien: "Albums, oh."

Lavin: "Now all you need is the iPhone."

Sadly, hearing the astute cultural observations of ESPN's fourth-string broadcast team was preferable to watching UCLA brick shot after shot against Portland's zone. Portland led 36-19 at half, and extended their lead to 23 early in the second-half.

Dad body language: "Can't believe I missed Paul McCartney for this."

"Daaaaaamn ucla is gettin killled," commented Washington guard Isaiah Thomas via Twitter. "What happen to the Bruins? Tradition? Lol all bad!"

I.T. makes a good point.

The Bruins' vaunted defense was a step slow against the Pilots' shooters. Portland hit 11 three pointers on 19 attempts, and shot 54% overall. UCLA couldn't even match that accuracy from the free-throw stripe, where they were 6-14.

Portland's Jared Stohl was 5-5 from deep off the bench. T.J. Campbell also had 15 points, 6 from the free throw line, as he outplayed UCLA's guards.

"We really have some soul searching to do before we step on the floor
in 22 hours,'' Ben Howland said after the game. "We haven't had a game like that since my first year here, and it feels horrible....We're obviously a long way from being a good team.''

The Pilots' win over UCLA is their first over the Bruins. In fact, it's the first time they've come within sniffing distance. Their previous three games against UCLA were losses of 65, 24, and 58 points. Now they have their own blowout win in the series. Perhaps most importantly, it came under the gaze of UCLA athletic director Dan Guerrero, who doubles as the chairman of the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee.

The 76 Classic continues tomorrow with Portland, 4-0 for the first time since '95-'96, playing #22 Minnesota and UCLA, in the losers' bracket, trying to redeem themselves against #12 Butler.