You know we love names around here. Great team nicknames, great player names, mascot naming contests... you name it. Name, name, name.
I suppose you're wondering how I can have a pre-season All-name team. Wouldn't the same names still sound great at the end of the year?
The answer is yes. However, I got tired of scouring rosters about halfway through, and I already had enough great names to fill a fifteen-deep team, so I stopped. No doubt, some of the names I never got to will force their way onto this list by the end of the season.
So, without further ado, here is the STF All-name depth chart:
Starters
Bak Bak - 6'9" Forward - Cal Golden Bears
Tiny Gallon - 6'9" Forward - Oklahoma Sooners
Orion Outerbridge - 6'9" Forward - Rhode Island Rams
Alibaba Odd - 6'2" Guard - Delaware State Hornets
Just-in'love Smith - 5'11" Guard - Siena Saints
Sixth Man
Osiris Eldridge - 6'3" Guard - Illinois State Redbirds
Role Players
An'Juan Wilderness - 6'6" Forward - Charlotte 49ers
Colt Idol - 6'3" Guard - Montana State Bobcats
Da'Veed Dildy - 6'4" Guard - Stanford Cardinal
Cam Payne - 6'4" Guard - West Virginia Mountaineers
Jarrid Famous - 6'11" Center - South Florida Bulls
Benchwarmers
Radar Onguetu - 6'5" Forward - New Hampshire Wildcats
Scooter Gillette - 6'8" Forward - Niagara Purple Eagles
Lex Mongo - 5'11" Guard - UMass Minutemen
Nimrod Tishman - 6'5" Guard - Florida Gators
The first four starters made it on overall name strength. In each case, first name and last name were awesome. Just-in'love was a great way to offset Smith, but in that case, the blindingly perfect first name carried the day over the common surname.
Osiris gets the sixth-man nod because he's actually an awesome player, and because his first name makes me think of the green-skinned Egyptian god of the underworld. Us liberal arts graduates have to take our smarmy fun where we can get it, amirite?
Colt Idol should probably be a starter, but he has more of an AWJS-off-the-bench look, so he's a role player on our team. The other names distributed well throughout the positions needed for backups, so that was nice. I've always like the way Cam and Payne are innocuous on their own, but combine to be funny.
Radar and Scooter make me think of M*A*S*H and Segway Personal Human Transports, respectively. Mongo sounds like one of John Chaney's famous goons. And Nimrod? Well, he's Israeli, so it's not his fault, but over here, he'll find his first name works well on all manner of signage. He should probably close his mouth while shooting free throws, too.
So, that's the preseason list. Let me know who I missed.
I like the idea for the God Shammgod award, but is there no way to honor my favorite college hoops name ever? Koko Archibong, there is none higher.
I have considered that fact, P. I gave myself permission because the OU website actually lists him as Tiny Gallon. But arguments like this are part of what makes lists so fun.
"Tiny" is a nickname. His name is Keith Gallon. You're not really making nicknames eligible are you?
Don't forget the Mapp brothers
Majestic Mapp and his brother .. Scientific Mapp
And for the Boomtje Boomje crowd .. don't forget Ya Ya Gia
Actually, Mongo is the Alex Karras character in Blazing Saddles-the one who punches out a horse.
Ivory White on Alabama State.
That is a gorgeous and fantastic idea. I love it.
The All-Name player who has the best season should be given the "God Shammgod Award."
These are all current players numbnuts
Why couldn't pops mensah bonsu still play college ball
you missed exree hipp(pronounced X-RAY) who played for maryland.
and what about god shammgod? thats gotta be the best one.
ruben boumtje boumtje.
Bol Kong cannot see his own reflection in a mirror, that is why he is not on any list.
you leave off bol kong from a blog on names in college ball? nice work...
Kong and Arop get no press at the forgotten city of spo-cane.
Gonzaga Underdogs
kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong kong
Dude no love to Kong and Arop?
Injustice! Outrage! Bol Kong and Mangisto Arop deserve their own list after this violation!
there is no college basketball with out Bol Kong!
Bol Kong and Manny Arop at GU!
Kong and Arop!!!
Chuck Norris is head waiter at Bol Kong's birthday parties.
Bol Kong and Mangisto Arop... the Sudanese Connection.
I can't believe I forgot Bol Kong.
http://www.ballinisahabit.net/2009/10/2009-2010-college-basketball-season_24.html
apparently These guys got to the all-name team first. Plus its alittle more in depth.
Almost identical though.
I love all name teams.
Gotta second and 3rd Bol Kong and add fellow Zag Mangisto Arop. You could fill an all-name team with this roster alone!
BOL KONG SF from Gonzaga. The 8th wonder of the world!!
BOL KONG (Gonzaga) Fear the name.